Digital Dharma

The Middle Path, One Day At A Time


Leave a comment

Something Similar — Straight Talk About Going Home After Treatment

Here’s an excerpt and link to an article I just posted on another site.  Perhaps someone will find it useful.

The comedian Dave Gardner used to remark, “Folks are always saying, ‘Let’s do this again!’  But friends, you can’t do anything again!  You can do something similar!”

I think about Gardner’s bit of wisdom when I hear people in early recovery talking about returning to their families and friends and “making it up to them.”  (This also brings to mind the idea of pushing toothpaste back into the tube.)  We say these things with the idea that we will be able to return things to the way they were “before” — if there ever really was a before.

That’s a lovely idea, but it’s not the way reality works.
Read more at Sunrise Detox Blog


Leave a comment

An Oldie But A Goodie…

It’s time to re-post this; one of my best, IMNSHO:

I was considering the way some of us in the rooms seem to think of ourselves, based on the way we talk. We say, “I’m not a bad person trying to get better, I’m a sick person trying to get well.” Then we continue talking about our shortcomings and defects of character. We say things like “I’m an alcoholic, and my problem is Bill.” (I don’t measure up; I’m defective; I’m a problem.) That is not an affirmation.

The language of 12-step groups is the language of seventy years ago–more like a hundred if you consider when the authors got their actual educations. We now know a great deal more about psychology than in the era of Freud and Jung. We also know a great deal more about addiction and alcoholism.

Read More…


Leave a comment

Reviews of Brad Warner’s “Sex, Sin and Zen” on Tricycle Editor’s Blog

You guys have read my review (which is also excerpted), but the other three give a different perspective. Check ’em out.  Check out the reviewers’ blogs, too.

“Sex, Sin and Zen” on the Tricycle Editor’s Blog


Leave a comment

Faux Friendship

We live in an age when friendship has become both all and nothing at all. Already the characteristically modern relationship, it has in recent decades become the universal one: the form of connection in terms of which all others are understood, against which they are all measured, into which they have all dissolved. Romantic partners refer to each other as boyfriends and girlfriends. Spouses boast they are best friends. Parents urge their young children and beg their teenage ones to think of them as friends. Teachers, clergy, and even bosses seek to mitigate and legitimate their authority by asking those they oversee to regard them as friends. As the anthropologist Robert Brain has put it, we’re friends with everyone now.

Yet what, in our brave new mediated world, is friendship becoming?

Faux Friendship


Leave a comment

Nepal U-turn on gays – Times Online

Nepal U-turn on gays – Times Online

“We’re completely changing this country. It’s a newborn republic — and we want to showcase this change,” Sharat Singh Bhandari, the Tourism Minister, told The Times. “We also want to re-establish tourism as a major industry.” He aims to attract one million tourists in 2011, more than double the number last year.

He kicked off the marketing campaign in October with a written message to the International Conference on Gay & Lesbian Tourism in Boston — an unprecedented gesture for an Asian minister. “As the world knows, Nepal is the land of Mount Everest, world’s highest peak and the birth place of Lord Buddha, light of Asia,” the message said. “I, therefore, would like to take this opportunity to invite and welcome all the sexual and gender minorities from around the world.”

Powered by ScribeFire.


2 Comments

Vatican hit by gay sex scandal

Vatican hit by gay sex scandal | World news | guardian.co.uk

The Vatican was today rocked by a sex scandal reaching into Pope Benedict’s household after a chorister was sacked for allegedly procuring male prostitutes for a papal gentleman-in-waiting.

Angelo Balducci, a Gentleman of His Holiness, was caught by police on a wiretap allegedly negotiating with Thomas Chinedu Ehiem, a 29-year-old Vatican chorister, over the specific physical details of men he wanted brought to him. Transcripts in the possession of the Guardian suggest that numerous men may have been procured for Balducci, at least one of whom was studying for the priesthood.

The explosive claims about Balducci’s private life have caused grave embarrassment to the Vatican, which has yet to publicly comment on the affair.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just admit that there are a lot of gay priests (and probably nuns), accept homosexuality as another manifestation of God’s will, and get on with the business of saving souls? C’mon! It’s not like it’s a secret.


Leave a comment

Silent Killers

Chaz’ journey back.

My wife and I were discussing some of the silent relationship killers that we have observed recently.

The big things are easy to spot…. abuse, infidelity, raging, name-calling, etc. Those are no-brainers. Any relationship would be endangered where these are present and it would be obvious.

But what about the silent killers?


Leave a comment

Gay-Rights Battle Brewing Over 2010 U.S. Census

Gay-Rights Battle Brewing Over 2010 U.S. Census | Newsweek National News | Newsweek.com

For the first time in the centuries-long history of the census, the number of same-sex couples who self-identify as married—license or no license—will be tabulated and released to the public. The move is seen as both a friendly nod to the gay community—which had pinned its hopes on President Obama and has, at least in some quarters, been frustrated by a perceived slow response to gay-rights issues—and a boost to policy fights, from challenging laws that limit gay adoptions to the nationwide legalization of gay marriage.


2 Comments

Liberals Aren’t Un-American. Conservatives Aren’t Ignorant.

Jonathan Haidt is hardly a road-rage kind of guy, but he does get irritated by self-righteous bumper stickers. The soft-spoken psychologist is acutely annoyed by certain smug slogans that adorn the cars of fellow liberals: “Support our troops—bring them home” and “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.”

“No conservative reads those bumper stickers and thinks, ‘Hmm . . . so liberals are patriotic!’” he says, in a sarcastic tone of voice that jarringly contrasts with his usual subdued sincerity. “We liberals are universalists and humanists; it’s not part of our morality to highly value nations. So to claim dissent is patriotic—or that we’re supporting the troops, when in fact we’re opposing the war—is disingenuous.

“It just pisses people off.”

The University of Virginia scholar views such slogans as clumsy attempts to insist we all share the same values. In his view, these catch phrases are not only insincere, they’re also fundamentally wrong. Liberals and conservatives, he insists, inhabit different moral universes….

Liberals Aren’t Un-American. Conservatives Aren’t Ignorant.

I’ve been saying that for a long time; rarely shall the twain meet. There are simply two basic sorts of human, with different world views. I used to think that was over-simplification, but as I’ve gotten older it’s become absolutely clear.


Leave a comment

Buddhism and Homosexuality

People’s beliefs are greatly influenced by many factors; two of the most important are culture, tradition, and religion. Culture often trumps religion. For example, in the case of the worldwide Anglican Communion, many believers in the U.S. and Canadian provinces feel that the denomination is in a state of sin because it does not grant equal rights to homosexuals. Many believers in African provinces believe that Anglican Community is in a state of sin because some Anglicans support equal rights for lesbians and gays. Here we have a single religious movement, using the same Bible as their holy book, sharing the same rituals, sharing a common history for many centuries. Yet they take opposite views on homosexuality because of their differing cultures.

The same cultural overlay phenomenon may be happening in Buddhism as well…

Buddhism and homosexuality


Leave a comment

Today’s Hero

“The truth is that male religious leaders have had — and still have — an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter. Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world.”

~ Jimmy Carter, on announcing that he is leaving the Southern Baptist Church after more than 60 years


Leave a comment

Troops’ kids feel war toll

Troops’ kids feel war toll – USATODAY.com

More than half of those surveyed say generally their children have coped well or very well with a parent who has gone to war. But one in four say the child has coped poorly or very poorly, and a third say the child’s grades and behavior in school have suffered.

Nearly 900,000 troops with children have deployed to war since 2001, and the Pentagon estimates that currently 234,000 children have a mother or father at war. The survey last year had a margin of error of +/-4 percentage points says Barbara Thompson, head of the Pentagon office of Family Policy/Children and Youth.

The Pentagon is “very concerned” about the effects of multiple deployments, she says. Children have classmates who have lost a parent, she says, “it’s in their face that it could happen to me.”…

And think of those whose parent comes home missing a foot, or part of a brain, or a personality…