An overpowering need to be right is born of perfectionism, pride and fear. Some people would risk a relationship, rather than admitting they were wrong, or that someone else’s point of view might be valid – at least for that person. Those of us who carry around that character defect – and the writer is most assuredly in recovery from know-it-all-ism – are often (or often have been) so unable to admit that there are two sides to most things that we have been willing even to alienate loved ones: We’d rather be right than loved. More…
My name is Bill, and I’m recovering from sex and love addiction.
There. I said it. Continue reading
In reviewing today’s search terms, I found four listings that read “Do all antidepressants cause PAWS?” I’ve previously gotten comments on the PAWS article indicating that there is confusion about this issue, and I’d like to lay it to rest here, if possible.
PAWS is caused by changes in our brains as they become addicted to alcohol or other drugs. When the drug is withdrawn, there is a period of dysfunction while the brain repairs itself. It begins two to three weeks after cessation of the drug(s), and continues for several months or, in extreme conditions, for up to two years.
Antidepressants (ADs) neither cause nor prolong Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS). Antidepressant medications act on different portions of the brain. They will not trigger addiction, cause relapse or otherwise negatively affect recovery. In fact, many recovering people benefit greatly from using antidepressants. Depression is common in early recovery, and ADs can literally make the difference between successful recovery and relapse.
There are people in the rooms of AA, NA and some of the other 12-step groups who, with only the best of intentions, advise newcomers to stay off all drugs. With due respect, they may know a lot about how they themselves recovered, but they are not mental health or addiction professionals. If you are feeling as though life isn’t worth the trouble, or having feelings of self-harm, see a physician about getting on an antidepressant medication.
The life you save may be your own.
Note: Although they are not addictive and do not cause PAWS, ADs should not be stopped, once begun, without the supervision of a physician. There is no withdrawal per se, but there can be a rebound effect leading to deep depression if they are not tapered off rather than quitting “cold turkey.”
I was recently contacted by Bill D., from Discovery Place, in Burns, TN, about including something about their facility on What…Me Sober? I thought I’d publish it here, too, because … well, why not?
However, I was rather taken with the idea of Discovery Place (DP), after I twisted my head around what I now consider to be irrelevant 8th Tradition issues. (See the afterword.) Since I have contacts in the Nashville area I was able to reach out and learn that DP is well-regarded in the recovery community, and so I figured I’d make this exception to my rule. I’ll let Bill explain it:
Discovery Place opened its doors in 1997 as a recovery/spiritual retreat for men battling drug addiction and alcoholism. Founded by two men with long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, Discovery Place formulated programs around the principles contained in the Big Book. Every DP guest undergoes the 12 step process by receiving instructions in one-on-one and small group settings. Our primary guides, all of whom are in recovery, play the primary role in guiding guests through the steps. We also utilize the services of volunteers from the Middle Tennessee recovery community to enrich and supplement our guest’s road to recovery.
Our main campus is located on 17 acres of beautiful country farmland just outside Nashville, TN, in a small town called Burns. We have found this scenic, open environment lends inspiration and provides a restorative element to men badly burned from years of alcohol and drug abuse. The long-term recovery program campus is located close to our main campus in Dickson, TN. This campus serves men who have decided to extend their stay at Discovery Place past 30 days. Our LTR house can accommodate up to 6 men and offers beach volleyball, a driving range, ping pong, billiards and a patio with brick fireplace for night meetings.
I believe our organization is unique in two regards: staff and community. All of our staff, with the exception of our accountant, are in recovery. Almost all of them were introduced to a sober way of living at Discovery Place. Because they completed at least one of our programs, staff members are in a unique position to identify and relate to guests. Over the course of their stay at Discovery Place, many guests form close bounds that continue after commencement (graduation). Many guests choose to stay close to our facility in one of the Dickson area recovery homes and live with their fellow DP alums. In many ways, we are a sober fraternity. Many guests also decide to begin volunteering at Discovery Place as soon as they commence, which is an option available to them. These facets of DP seem to work in tandem to create a flourishing recovery community. In addition to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, this might be why so many of our men pick up year or multi-year medallions.
So, that’s that, and hopefully someone will find their program interesting and perhaps useful. Bill has assured me that their residents are encouraged to get “outside help” for issues if needed, and that opportunities abound for recreation in the area. In fact, he was delayed getting this article to me because he was off on their annual White Water Rafting weekend.
Now, a word about the 8th Tradition issues. I have no problem with them, and neither do the folks at Discovery Place. That said, it’s none of my business anyway. I have my own problems, and if they’re getting along with the AA groups around Nashville, I’m good with it. (If they weren’t, I doubt they’d have stayed around as long as they have.)
All of the above being the case, I am not going to host a forum on 8th Step issues here. If you have a problem with the way DP handles the Traditions, feel free to contact them. Traditions rants will not be published here. This site is about recovery, not AA politics.
…when things get rough, we sometimes convince ourselves that all we need is a fresh start in a new place, and we’ll be able to get our lives back under control.
I introduce the notion of addiction as a subject of philosophical inquiry here for a reason. I am a philosopher, yes, but I am also an alcoholic who has been sober for more than 24 years ― only the last four of them as part of a recovery program. I am often asked how I got and stayed sober for those first 19 years; it was because of philosophy, which engendered in me a commitment to living an examined life, and gave me the tools and concepts to do so. My training in moral philosophy made it natural for me to wrestle with issues of character, responsibility, freedom, care and compassion in both work and life. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/08/out-of-the-cave-philosophy-and-addiction/
Here’s an excerpt and link to an article I just posted on another site. Perhaps someone will find it useful.
The comedian Dave Gardner used to remark, “Folks are always saying, ‘Let’s do this again!’ But friends, you can’t do anything again! You can do something similar!”
I think about Gardner’s bit of wisdom when I hear people in early recovery talking about returning to their families and friends and “making it up to them.” (This also brings to mind the idea of pushing toothpaste back into the tube.) We say these things with the idea that we will be able to return things to the way they were “before” — if there ever really was a before.
That’s a lovely idea, but it’s not the way reality works.
Read more at Sunrise Detox Blog
Glamorous tales abound of high-rollers losing millions in a night, but the sad truth is most gambling addicts go bankrupt one scratch card at a time.
If we believe in a loving god who cares what happens to us, looks after us, and answers prayers, the peace that our belief brings will unquestionably be a great support in recovery. On the other hand, if we believe that a god will take care of us simply because we ask, without our putting any effort into our recovery process, then it is quite possible that believing could hinder our recovery. Likewise, if we were raised to believe in a harsh, punishing god who will make us pay for our transgressions, we may find that we are emotionally unable to deal with the implications and may so totally reject the “God Thing” (as many of us call it) that we end up throwing our recovery out with our religious beliefs.
[Please read the rest of the article before commenting.]
Is addiction a fate worse than unremitting, agonizing pain? To many people, the answer is absolutely not—particularly if the sufferer is close to death. But that’s not how our policymakers—and even many people affected by addiction—seem to view the issue.
While use of prescription opioids for cancer and other end-of-life pain is increasingly accepted, if you are going to suffer in agony for years, rather than months, mercy is harder to find. Indeed, it seems a given by the media that because addicts sometimes fake pain to get drugs, doctors should treat all patients as likely liars—and if a physician is conned by an addict, the doctor has only herself to blame.
I came as close to using drugs last night as I have in over 20 years. My experience — totally unexpected — draws a line under the reasons that we have to keep our heads in the right place, have supports available, and the several other things involved in maintaining our sobriety.
Peg O’Connor at the NYT writes:
I introduce the notion of addiction as a subject of philosophical inquiry here for a reason. I am a philosopher, yes, but I am also an alcoholic who has been sober for more than 24 years ― only the last four of them as part of a recovery program. I am often asked how I got and stayed sober for those first 19 years; it was because of philosophy, which engendered in me a commitment to living an examined life, and gave me the tools and concepts to do so. My training in moral philosophy made it natural for me to wrestle with issues of character, responsibility, freedom, care and compassion in both work and life.
In our company, I’m the field supervisor. I’m the one who has to go deal with things when the site supervisors either can’t handle them or aren’t available. That happened to me this morning. A call at 8:00 AM changed my day, and practically all the chores (and fun) I had planned for the day are trashed: the price you pay for being a boss.
As I was rushing through the things I had to get done, I was thinking about how easy it was, compared to the way I would have dealt with the same sort of thing when I was active in my addictions.
Read more at the Sunrise Detox Blog, then subscribe to its feed.
I received an email from a hard-nosed recovering addict/alcoholic who stated, in essence, that inpatient detox isn’t necessary, that he did it on his own, and that all anyone needs is a (little of this, little of that) to get through it just fine, and he knows a bunch of folks who did it that way, and…blah, blah, blah. Read the rest…